Grocery Store Revelations

I had an epiphany today while grocery shopping. It started with two cranky kids and full cart, all of which we were attempting to herd toward the overcrowded check out lines.

The finish line was in site when I screeched to a halt. That nauseating feeling overcame me, you know the one. It's that feeling when you are SO CLOSE to being done grocery shopping and you realize you forgot ONE thing! You're faced with the choice of trekking 26 miles all the way across the store to get it (because it's ALWAYS on the opposite side of where you are), or going home without a fully checked-off list.

"I need to go back and get stuff to make cookies" I cried

"Why? We aren't going to eat cookies." Jason said

"Right, but Santa eats cookies. We have to make cookies for Santa!" I screamed, irritated that he could not understand the importance of this.

"Well just grab a package of refrigerated cookie dough." He said,  not even trying to hide how annoyed he was.

"But..but.. I've never NOT made Christmas cookies from scratch." I said bewildered, as visions of Pinterest were flying through my mind. Visions of Ava and I in matching aprons, carefully crafting gingerbread. Visions of me proudly holding an antiques silver tray full of an assortment of gourmet goodies in a dress straight out of Mad Men. Except that I don't own a silver tray. Or anything from Mad Men's wardrobe.

"Do you think think it really matters?" Jason said

Of course it matters! But wait, who does it matter to? Does Santa care what kind of treats I leave out for him? Do the kids really care if I am painstakingly slaving all day to make lemon-zest infused shortbread?

I knew who cared. I cared. Because as a woman, as a person, I am constantly battling against the idea that I am defined by everything I can DO. Logically I know that mastering some complicated recipe and making Food Network-worthy baked goods will not make me a better person. Logically I know that the only good reason to spend all day baking things off of Pinterest would be because I wanted to. The only reason to spend my time doing anything is because it is a priority to me!

We all only get 24 hours in a day. Those 24 hours can be spent however we choose, but far too often I have found myself spending my time in ways that didn't really fit with my priorities. I have given my most valuable and limited possession-- time-- to things that I felt like I needed to do in order to be enough. Enough of a mother. Enough of a wife. Enough of a woman. The reality is, that the only way to ever really be enough is to do the things that fulfill me.

Now, let me be clear in saying that I am not judging anyone whose priority list includes crafting cute little baked goods. In fact, I hope you share! Our priorities should be as unique as we are. I do hope, that in this busy holiday season, In this busy LIFE that we all learn to say no a little more often to the things that don't matter and invest a little more time in the things that do.